I can't take any more of this.
Everything in my life has been hell and I can't actually trust anyone.
The only thing real is death and it can't come quickly enough.
The only thing I have going for me is my writing. Stories that no one wants to read.
Friendship is just people exploiting others, and if friendship really is real it has long since died and become some romanticized notion turned into a religion that people blindly follow.
Being on the autistic spectrum, I have trouble communicating with other people. But despite how pathetic and insignificant my mind is, I have realized that humans are selfish creatures capable of nothing except fulfilling their own desires.
I think this is why humans create religion. It provides an incentive after death, something that makes us want to survive, create bonds, etc. Without it, we are just organic trash on a lame ass rock orbiting an infantile star that for whatever reason gained sentience. Life is just that, not meant to be. I wouldn't even be surprised if the reason the entire universe came into existence is by sheer accident, nothing more.
Regardless, I've realized the insignificance of life and the delusion we are anything more than trash on a rock flying through space. Humans are vain and think they can create massive civilizations to deny this fact but it is the truth.
I guess that whatever happens I will most likely be put on stronger meds, hospitalized or institutionalized. Worst case scenario I "disappear" as far as the online community is concerned. There are only two ties between the RL community and the online one. Once there were three, but no longer. As it stands they may hint at information but I would much rather appreciate they do no such thing.
Assuming this does not happen until later, they will cease to be RL ties and this entire section is void.
Regardless, I'm done. You made your decision, I made mine. The show ends, even if you are no longer there to witness it doing so.